I read your e-mail about your experiance in jail and
how that you had taken a hard cold look at life. YOU
HAD A WAKE UP CALL. guess you went back to sleep
forgot about God and all that you had learned. Well I
will be praying for you because I will put money on
that fact that most people who do not take the
oppertunity for second chances at life always end up
hitting the bottom twice as hard the next time and
believe it's coming. Get a hold of Christian Hosi the
pro skater if you dont know him who cares he would be
glad to share his story. I hate writting e-mails so I
hope im not wasting my time. Everyone thinks they can
just get away with stuff you are not dealing with your
stuff stop running way you are not fooling God,
yourself or anyone else. you are missing the point on
what life is about. being an artist and getting paid
and being tough is all great but you dont have a true
cause you will just wind up dead or in some aa meeting
or even worse just a complaing artist. or maybe all
three. Take some soul inventory your life is worth a
lot accroding to God and eveyboddy else will just most
lickly use you till there is nothing left. WAKE BACK
> hey brett
> much love and respect
> all i can say is that it's hard
> but of course it was gonna be hard
> all the best things in life are.
> but i'm not completely back to sleep
> i'm just taking it one day at a time.
„ one day at a time „I got your e-mail and if your
strategy or goal is to take each day
„ one day at a time „.
you will be right back to where you were a little bit
closer just one day at a time.
Think about the logic ? time has nothing to do with
our struggles. We need real change and not just a
change of location like moving away which many people
do. That would be great if a change of address would
trick our problems and the result would be that our
trouble‚s couldn‚t find us.
You have to much talent to be wasting your life and
time. Read this quote. We could all use to meditate
on this kind of wisdom.
Albert Einstein‚s definition of insanity: „Insanity:
is doing the same thing over and over again and
expecting different results‰
You will not see anything change until you make a real
change. Lets just get to the point and go straight to
the root. We all use things to get what we want like
Sex , Money , power or our talent in your case art. We
use these things to get what we want.
And now we must ask the question what have we got?
did Sex bring Love ? Did money produce satisfaction ?
did power bring peace ?. Or like a junkie are we still
left needing more and more, its like mental and
spiritual slavery we end up the ones who ultimately
get used .
Bob Dylan has a famous quote in one of his songs you
gott‚a serve somebody . He is referring to Jesus or
the vices of this world. It‚s one or the other.
When people are at their end, down for the count
that‚s when people wake up and take a sober look at
their life I call this the crossroads. It often takes
pain to sober people up. But we don‚t like the pain so
we get numb again. The vicious cycle kill your
conscious avoid the truth avoid consequence. watch tv
go to a bar talk all day on the cell phone surf the
net stupid but any thing to avoid reality and will do
it hours , days , years go by and we soon become
everyone we hate repeating all their mistakes.
Your time in jail was a blessing because their was
nothing their to think about but the truth. Your
e-mail after jail said you always were in some kind
you just didn‚t get caught. Getting caught has been
the best thing that ever happened to me. Funny how
people always find God in jail , or in a near death
experience the say there are no atheists in fox holes.
The truth is God is always speaking we are just not
listening were to busy serving other god‚s like our
stomach and even though we eat like pigs we never get
full never get satisfied never find peace or purpose.
Just shoveling food and experience down our throat not
even tasting life.
It has been said that man has been created with a God
An nothing but God will complete a man
Get a Bible and start reading it „ one day at a time
„ and that‚s when the game will begin
go strait to the source the pure un- cut truth . If
you don‚t have a bible you said you go to hotels a lot
just grab one of those. If not I will send you mine.
Peace to you Choe.
|When the nice folks at Wooster asked me to document the typical day of my life, I wasn’t too sure because everydays really different, I’m never home, and people don’t believe half of the shit I tell them anyways, so I just finished a huge job for heidi fleiss, returned home after months and figured I’d document a wednsday my most typical day because of comics and hot dogs .to contrast all the surrealness of life on the road. So I charged my camera and took it with me everywhere this last wednsday, so here’s my day. Like I tell everyone ,I make it a point in my life to at least once a day if I do nothing else to at least draw or write at least one line or scribble or play at least one note of music. So I do. Sad thing is I probably spend more time on the phone asking people where the fuck is my money, as I do at the drawing board or behind the drum kit.
As a slum lord once told me, real g’s don’t get up before noon, my whole life I’ve worked hard to get to a place In my life where I don’t have to wake up before noon, and now I’m here and I love it, sleeping in is the best shit in the universe and I sleep in everyday!!!
1)When I wake up I’m usually not hungry because I usually eat a gigantic meal right before I go to sleep, so I take this huge cocktail of vitamins to help with my OCD, ADD , and clinical depression, with a cup of water and then take a huge shit down the hall with a newspaper.
2)The guy living at my loft, sleeping under my trampoline, is filmmaker harry kim, he made a short ten minute movie about me two years ago ,and has been following it up with a full length feature, so he’s been following me with that fucking camera the whole time, only thing is he has no funding and his parents don’t like the fact that their son is spending his whole life making a movie about a guy that destroys the earths surface , my place is big , so he’s here with me now, I introduce him to everyone as my documentater but he’s always drunk, asleep , or dancing with girls ,so I spend more time documentating him these day . I keep telling him he hasn’t earned the right to sleep in yet.
3) I fire up the playstation and play the best/worst thing in the universe, GRAND THEFT AUTO SAN ANDREAS nothing makes you more anti-social than this thing. I’ve had it since it came out and have yet to pass one mission. I start each day by killing at least 100 people I shoot them repeatedy in their genitals with an AK-47 even after they’re already dead, when I was staying at my cousins house my 7 year old nephew walked in one me while I was doing this. It was not a good scene. But the true diamond in this game is the photographing option, as an illustrator I’ve sort of had to become a photographer by necessity for a lot of the shit I have to photo reference, but I would never call myself a photographer. But in this world I am the greatest photographer in the universe. I’ll spend hours, days in this game trying to get the right shot, I’ll picture it in my head and then spend hours trying to make it happen. I’ll want it at a certain time of day with the light just right, like a burning wall of flame in front of me from molotav cocktails, with a full moon in the background and at least two spotlights from 2 different helicopters, with dark shiloettes behind the wall of flame shooting at me, of shot’s of people wile they are stabbing and shooting me in the face, where else can you do this?location has to be perfect, sometimes I’ll want a certain characrter in a certain shot so I’ll punch him/her and have them chase me on foot all the way from l.a. to las vegas, or I won’t have enough light so I’ll steal 5 cars and place them strategically to get the lighting I want. My favorite photo is the jellyfish in the ocean ,but there was no good way to photograph underwater so it took me three days to figure this out, but I put the floating car cheat code in which makes the headlights point downwards and I parked it over the jellyfish illuminating them and I snapped the golden picture, another thing is after you murder your models for a shot you have a limited time before they dissapear, I figured out the only way to make them stay forever is to run them over with a car expertly so that they fly up and then land on top of the car if they land on top of the car they will stay on screen forever, once I do this I put the invisible car cheat code in and set up shots, here’s a good one with some gangbangers shooting at my face while my model seems to be floating in front of them and what looks like gas escaping from her pussy ends up being smoke from my invisible car shooting up because I crashed it. it takes so much memory to save photo’s I had to go to fry’s and buy 4 more memory cards I have more than 200 amazing photographs to date.
5)There’s a knock on the door, it’s joseph, I turn off the playstation , I didn’t think I would be teaching until I was really old and have something to teach, but by fate ,god put joeseph in my life, joe is a special kid he’s 15 years old doesn’t say much, autistic, and one of the best painters I know, I’ve painted with a lot of people this year and no one paints faster than me than joe. This guy can paint anything from memory and comes up with the craziest comics, I’d actually have to say I don’t teach him shit, I learn more just by watching him, all I do is set up the canvas and mix his paint, look at this noahs ark he did in like five seconds with every single animal in the world, check out how big those fucking deer are ,awesome! Class is two hours and only twice a week, besides joe I have no other responsibilities in my life. Party on!
4)It’s starting to drizzle, I take a picture of this shedding tree outside, it reminds me of the artfag project I’m working on, my dandruff didn’t go away after I got out of prison with head and shoulders and selsum blue and so like ally sheedy from the breakfast club I shake my flakes onto this black board with matte medium everyday, it’s taking shape but after this year it’s gonna be a snowstorm in the city you can kind of start to tell already.
6)Harrys finally up and he’s getting hungry and it’s 25 cent hotdog wednsday, so we chopup a full onion at my house cry a little and go down to the schnitz and have 4 mustard dogs each for 2 dollars, harry says it’s on him since he’s staying at my place, but oh no he left the house too fast and left his wallet at home. Ok harry you get it next time.
7)Next on the wednsday ritual like any true comics nerd will tell you is it’s new comics day. I’ve been buying less and less comics since I got out of jail but I still can’t help it, all those dudes you went to high school with that could draw like mother fuckers that used to end up in comics . now they all work at pixar or video game companies. The only people left reading and making comics are people like me who grew up reading this shit, never stopped and now are making them all fucked up so only adults can read them. yes!!! But anyways it doesn’t really matter where I’m at if I’m in new york I hit jim hanleys by the empire state building, when I’m in the yay yereo, comic relief, when I’m in la. Hideeho, goldenapple , or meltdown depending onwhere I’m staying at, and it’s been that way since high school. Today I should have stayed home, I get there nothing good is out, but I end up getting the avengers because the guy that’s writing it right now is killing off all these old school characters like scarlet witch and hawkeye and fanboys are getting pissed. I get home and read the avengers see a piece of artwork that I let warner brothers use for the inside liner notes of the jay-z linkin park album, and see that they went ahead and used it for an entire ad campaign, the next few hours I’m on the phone with the worst people on the planet, l.a. entertainment lawyers , the only worse people are tobacco lawyers, I don’t have the stomach for this verbal sparring I want to puke my hotdogs, I’m a fucking artist , these guys are professional put words in your mothers and word twisterer’s . I need a fucking lawyer this is gonna be a long day, long month , year.
8) This is one of the gayest things ever, but right now there is a double rainbow outside but it makes me happy.
The rest of the night will only get better.
9)Mylious the drummer for pink and guch the drummer for insolence stop by the studio and I give them a drawing I did of a drumset for their drumming dvd ,kidguch, how are they gonna pay me? They are both sponsored drummers so they said I can go down to lemmon percussion on the alameda and pick out any drumset that sonor makes, fuck yes, I wish everything in life worked out like this. I draw a drum set, I get a drum set, I draw a girl I get a girl I draw a fat burger I get a fatburger.never having to ever deal with money again would be a blessing.
10)I go down to the drum shop , they’re closed but I salivate in front of the window of what I’ll soon be getting,
11)I see that there’s a drum clinic next door with Kenny aranoff, arguably one of the best studio and touring musicans ever has played with everyone from Jessica simpson to the smashing pumpkins and everyone in between , next door is my friend Johnny granado’ 5 color cowboy hair salon it’s packed in and Kenny is in the middle of a half hour drum solo which destroyed my brain, it was sick as fuck. After the show we get to hang out in the back room, and Kenny tells me really entertainingly about his failed marriage and kids,he seems to have all the same problems as me , even though he’s in his early 40’s. fuuuuuuck I think to myself, I’m 28 now and I keep thinking by the time I’m 30 or 35 all this shit will start to make sense, I had the best girl in the world and I let her go because I’m a fucking idiot and my foolish pursuit to be the greatest artist in the world, and the guy tells me guys like you and me are not built that way, if you want to be the best at whatever it is you do, art , drumming, your gonna be a shitty dad and husband, if you try to be both or try to find this imaginary balance that everyone keeps talking about , you’re gonna fail and be miserable at the same time. Fucking greaaaat.
Do I want to be the best artist in the world, or do I want to be a cool boyfriend? It was totally unexpected to meet Kenny tonight.
I end up driving past my ex-girlfriends house a few times with harry sitting shotgun saying I shouldn’t , I didn’t take any pictures because I want to protect her address and I was too busy stalking.
12)It’s about 11 pm now and we head over to steve caballero’s house for art night. Steve has people over about once a week when he’s in town for art night, he’s one of the most unstoppable characters I’ve ever seen, a skate legend, but when not doing that, he’s touring with his band the faction, doing motorcross , or painting and drawing it’s like a train, get on or get off, steve has a kid too and got divorced last year, I tell him what Kenny told me, and he says back all the same things, shit is looking grim if I couldn’t work shit out with mylan I don’t think I’m ever gonna get married. Even though it’s art night we end up just talking and playing ping pong, it’s like a dude’s version of a sewing circle.
It’s past midnight , I missed loveline tonight, I got a lot to think about, I want to drive by and stalk my ex again and then crawl into bed and sleep forever, but there’s lots more to do.
13)We stop at my cousin alex’s and pick up some more blanket’s for harry because it’s cold at my place and I see one of the best things in the universe, my nephew Brandon is playing with cars and then all of a sudden just falls asleep on the stairs.
Next I have to drive out twenty minutes to palo alto to clean up a paint spill and a few touch up’s on the mural I been working on for the facebook ,so I burn a disc real fast for late night painting . I have to take in consideration that I’m working late at night so I need music that soothes yet energizes and also the fact that I’ll be alone allows me to add guilty pleasures that I’d otherwise be embarrassed as fuck if they walked in on me. But besides those few exceptions my musical taste is indestructible.Duff mckagan 10 years, rattatat 17 years, izzy stradlin pressure drop, ennio morricone (last song on the mssion soundtrack),robotech-boobytrap, Body count -there goes the neighborhood, DMX party up in here, eazy e real mutha fucking g’s, esg you make no sense, sick of it all sanctuary, distillers-beat your heart out,tatu all the things she said, mike watt and sonic youth-get into the groove, fatlip-whats up fatlip, boxer georgia, ucla marching band drum squad vs. usc marching band drum squad, optimo liquid liquid, aphex twin- alberto balsam,desparecidos-manana,john fruciante-murderers,temple of the dog- hunger strike, fugazi- provisional,pepe deluxe-indifference,concrete blonde- everybody knows, pixies honey pie T.I.Rubberbandmaninstrumental, sepultura and pavoratti- roots bloody roots, casino soundtrack theme de Camille, guns n roses you aint the first, Julie delpy -before sunrise soundtrack, RX Queen deftones, blink 182 the fallen interlude..
I grab the disc and leave my computer on to keep downloading porn and head out to palo alto.
I even have a special detective assigned to my case in palo alto to make sure I clean up my spill,
Heres an email from Phil
You are hereby notified that it has been determined that a painter,
> contracted by you to paint in your leased space at 471 Emerson Street, is
> responsible for the spilling of some white paint on the pavement in a
> parking space on the Emerson Street frontage of your building. The
> spilling of this material is a violation of Palo Alto Municipal Code
> Section 5.20.160., you and your company will be responsible to
> clean up this paint. At that point, an Administrative Citation may be
> issued to you. This citation has a $250 fine associated with it and this
fine is assessed daily.
The guy that hired me to paint thefacebook.com offices, is sean parker he’s only 25 and was one of the founders of napster fucking brilliant guy. It takes me two and a half hours of back breaking work to clean up the spill,
14) I never thought I would ever in my life purchase a product called graffiti remover, but I did, and It works like a dream. Phil will be happy..
15)My head is fucking killing me from the fumes of paint thinner and graphitti remover I almost crash the mini van, my knuckles are bleeding and I really need to take a shower. I don’t have a shower at my loft only a kitchen and public toilet, so I either go swimming at the condo’ next door or go to 24 hour fitness and use the public showers for my hygene.
16)it’s past three in the morning and the same guy has this shift every night yet he still asks to see my id every time. This part of my life is still identical to prison life, I shower every other day in a public bath with 5 to 10 other guys just like in Tokyo , but it’s late tonight and it’s only me, harry , and a fat Mexican dude , he had the nuts the size of spaldings I had to wait for him to finish scrubbing those things before I could take this picture.also if I try to come in take a shower in the daytime it’s a breeding ground for the gays, I’m trying to clean and there’s fags lurking around every corner, they just stare and scrub one part of their body over and over again, I end up leaving the gym feeling dirtier than when I came in.another problem is it’s been a year since I got a chance to do any manscaping and without the privacy of my own shower I didn’t get a chance to trim the pubes and their getting pretty long, will have to remind myself to pack scissors on my next trip.
We eat pancakes and mini burgers at the only place open this late in san jose, denny’s and then we get home as the sun is about to come up .
I feel like a monster right now . not like a scary one, though at one time I did, I’m more like a sad ghost or Korean vampire, how I ended up like this I don’t know. I’m like this art fag that only exists at night . it’s been like this for awhile but it’s gotten really bad this year.besides tonight, I never talk to anyone anymore, people that hang out around me always are wearing masks because I’m painting with toxic chemicals, I hardly leave my cave. I’m only awake when everyone else is sleeping, it seems quieter and like the world is less populated. I feel like I’m slipping between the cracks. I often wonder what would have happened to me if the whole art thing didn’t work out for me. I’ve totally turned into this fat typical depressed neurotic self loathing art fag. But I can remember being hungry . I can remember the first time getting a rejection letter from a magazine getting rejected from a gallery . the anger and the fire that ,that rejection created inside me like I was fucking nothing, like I didn’t matter. I was so angry then I wanted to destroy everything that made people feel safe, I wanted to terrorize America I wanted to throw the first rock and start a revolution , anarchy and riots all the way people would listen to me, but then I sold my first expensive painting and bought a car ,and everything changed. People like Hitler and charles manson real monsters, yet human, how did they become like this? Rejection, Hitler’s paintings were rejected everywhere, and mansons songwriting skills were laughed at. With all that hate and anger I funneled into my art, what kind of monster would I have been now, if not for success?
There is an Indian family living underneath me illegally in a place of business, I don’t want to but I have to , especially after a day like this. 17)I drum my heart out, the loudest fucking drumbeat ever for about ten minutes till I drum myself to sleep. I beat off twice ,read two more comics and finally fall asleep at 8.
18) here’s everything I’ve painted since January.
|JUST LET ME RIDE
Ludacris too many niggas not enough ho’s
T.I.- rubberband man instrumental
RATATAT- 17 years
Aphex twin- alberto balsam
Aphex Twin- Girl boy song
Rolling stones- time is on my side
Fat Lip- what’s up Fat Lip
Pavement- Kennel District
Pavement- fillmore jive
Modest mouse- Karma Payment Plan
Modest mouse- talking shit about a sunset
Dopplereffekt- sterilize the population
Sublime- Waiting for my ruca
ESG you make no sense
Boss Hog- I dig you
The clash pressure drop
The clash I fought the law
Gustav Mahler Symphony # 5
Amerie- one thing (instrumental)
Team sleep- Your SKULL IS RED
Team SLEEP- PARIS ARM
GZA liquid swords
Fugazi -waiting room
Temple of the dog hunger strike
DMX X Gonna give it to ya
DMX- ruff riders anthem
Gary Numan- M.E.
TV on the Radio- Mr. Grieves
TV on the Radio- staring at the sun
Pepe Deluxe- indifference
Inside out- burning fight
Sick of it all Sanctuary
Distillers- beat your heart out
Afgan whigs- true love travels on a gravel road
Teenage fanclub and de la soul fallin’
Naughty by Nature- everythings gonna be alright
Postal service nothing better
Breeders- divine hammer
Soviet Candy Girl
Sonic Youth JC
Sonic Youth and mike watt- get into the groove(Madonna cover)
Smashing pumpkins drown
John frusciante MURDERERS
NWA boyz in the hood
Mos def ghetto rock
Jay- z- 99 problems
Juvenile- back that ass up
Fear factory- shock
Sepultra and luciano pavoratti- roots bloody roots
Sepultra and kodo
Frank Black Headache
Flaming lips- Vaseline
Dinosaur Jr. feel the pain
Guns n roses- you aint the first
Guns n roses- knocking on heavens door (live)
Johnette Napolitano- the scientist(coldplay cover)
Failure- the nurse who loved me
Beastie boys- looking down the barrel of a gun
Yeah yeah yeahs- Y control
Peaches- fuck the pain away
DJ assault- ass n titties
DEFTONES- to have and to hold (depeche mode cover)
Def leopard- pour some sugar on me
Dead boys- sonic reducer
Black sheep- engine engine #9
Tribe called quest- buggin out
Liquid liquid- optimo
David bowie- under pressure
David bowie- ziggy stardust
blink 182 the fallen interlude..
lisa lisa and cult jam lost in emotion
Johnny thunders- sad vacation
Audio Slave- seven nation army (white stripes cover)
Motley crue- don’t go away mad
Moby- the great escape
Helen love- rollercoaster
Hang on the box- asshole I’m not your baby
Coco rosie- terrible angels
Bright eyes- old song soul
Dr . octagon- blue flowers
That dog- angel
Berlioz- symphony fantastique
Gustav Mahler- symphony#5
Mozart-cannon in D
Beverly hills high school marching band
ARCHERS OF LOAF- FABRICOH
BLOOD BROTHERS-UNDER PRESSURE
ROCKET FROM THE CRYPT- STURDY WRISTS
At the drive in- one armed scissor
Yo la tengo our way to fall
Downset sangre de mis manos
Kool kieth- sex style
Michael Jackson human nature
Someone sent me a link to this.
WARNING: THIS PROJECT IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART OR THOSE OFFENDED BY EXTREME LANGUAGE/SUBJECT MATTER.
I bought this 2003 calendar sight unseen in a dim club 'cuz I love David Choe's artwork. When I got it home the negative, misogynistic energy of the work depressed me. Help me keep whatever is of value in the artwork and transform the energy.
David Choe's work is autobiographical and pretty hardcore (language, subject matter). You can see some of his artwork here. None of that has bothered me in the past, but this hate-filled journal-style calendar of trashing past girlfriends was self-indulgent and cruel in a way that made it impossible to use the calendar.
I couldn't quite bring myself to throw it away or give it away either. The artwork is stunning, as always, but the negative energy is so strong that I don't want to send it out into the world the way it is.
Help me transform it.
My idea is not to respond to Choe's invective because that would just be more negative energy chasing after negative energy. Instead I would like each participant to pick a month and alter the calendar in such a way to give the woman David Choe trashed a voice of her own that tells who you think she is and what she is really about. Or that tells who you are or a special woman in your life is.
Very interesting. I've never heard of this guy before but he sounds like a sad asshole.
I won’t come down.
The past year has been pretty break neck.
Soon after my release from prison work just took off, and I been running to keep up with myself.
I apologize for all the unanswered e-mails and unreturned calls, all I want to do when I finally do get home is sleep.
I haven’t shown anywhere this year, because I have nothing new to show.
A lot of artisits paint FOR a show, (I’m guilty of this too) but you should only
Show when you have work ready to show.
Group shows are fucking horrible and a joke.and have been played out for more than a minute. Can everyone just stop it?
Nobody buys anything and did you really want to become an artist so that
You can paint on a pair of speakers, or jeans, or shoes or trucker caps, or whatever the gimmicky fuck.
Cut it out.
There’s a lot of projects I do want to pursue, but with the NEA pretty much non-existent, and constant rejection
From established art institutions, grants, fellowships, and museums. Corporations and small businesses are the new
National endowment of the arts, they are the new champions of the arts. If this is their motive or not, or even if it’s for more exploitve selfish reasons, I could care less. Your support of me over the past year has afforded me the freedom to travel and paint, and express myself.
Thank you Upper Playground, Warner Brothers, Mercury Software, thefacebook.com, SCION, and Electronic Arts
To those who view this as a sell out move, I say keep fighting your fight and waving your flags.
Each and everytime I get paid to destroy public property I count that as a win.
------ Forwarded Message
Date: Sat, 12 Jun 2004 13:32:36 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: japanese prison art article
i wrote this last night at 3 .a..m
affter coming home from the horse races
it probably doesn't make any sense
If you want to get creative in American prison‚s, you take one color of each m & m and put each one in a spoon with a few drops of water,
and the color starts to wash off so that you have little puddles of ,green,blue, yellow, red, etc., you take the guitar string and dip it
into the color you want and start on your homemade jail tattoo. But I was in an iron fortress called Kosuge, this last winter in Tokyo Japan
in solitary confinement for almost three months and , the Japanese didn‚t have, spoons, m&m‚s or guitar strings. And thank god for that, can
you imagine the fucking retarded ass tattoo‚s I‚d be covered with?
One of the worst things you can be in a Japanese prison ,is Korean. But having the skills to draw flattering portraits of other inmates and
prison guards (and also unflattering ones, some of these guys like it when you draw them even more fucked up) like p-diddy in the movie
monsters ball, upped my stock quite a bit ,to one of the favorites. When placed in this hopeless void, my mind that‚s usually cluttered and
distracted, opens up, and I have to find creative solutions to pass the time.
When you shower only once every 9 days you got no choice but to get dandruff.
Remember in breakfast club, when ally sheedy spends her time in detention drawing a super elaborate landscape with ballpoint on her desktop
and then makes it look like it‚s snowing all over it by shaking her dry scalp flakes all over it? That was me in jail every night. On rare
occaisions you get a three-year-old magazine and there‚s a scene of buildings or a landscape I spend 30 minutes shaking my dandruff all over
it,OOH OHH LOOK! IT‚S SNOWING, IT‚S A BLIZZARD OF OZZ!! after I‚m done, I cut lines with my dandruff and snort it or eat it for a tasty
snack. It tastes like crusty butter. I also eat my boogers and sniff my earwax but that was all before jail, I didn‚t snort dandruff until
after. When I turn the page of the magazine and If I see a half page or full page portrait of a woman‚s face,I‚ll punch a hole out their
mouth and make them suck my dick, beating off in jail is boring because it‚s the highlight of the day and it barely lasts 10 minutes and
then it‚s all down hill from there, so I like to hold off till night time as a reward to myself, or if I do go off on a beat off binge, I
prolong cuming for at least 3 to 4 days. Using cum in art is stupid and played out, it has no color , and all it does is wrinkle the paper.
In the outside world ,I draw these super fast sophisticated line drawings that look awesome, but in here, I have nothing but time and a
mountain of hopelessness, so all my simple drawings get crosshatched to death like a poor man‚s Robert crumb, and everyone in my drawings
ends up looking like they have horrible tan lines, pillow scars, or Sudanese. The floors in prison cells are Japanese tatami mats, so I can
see how much of my hair falls out everyday, I collect every single one and braid them. I‚m not really a depressing Goth bitch, but I must‚ve
contemplated suicide at least once a day while I was in there, to escape that fucking fucked up impossible situation, I was gonna braid
thousands of my fallen and pulled out hairs into a human hair noose, and hang my bitch ass self, but I got bored, and instead made a human
hair brush using 732 human hairs, and a piece of sticky red tape that they forgot to take off my pen, I used the red tape to fasten the
hairs around the end of my chopstick, which I also used as my ear cleaner, the earwax helped keep the hairs in place. At this point This is
where I learn that human hair paintbrushes, make terrible paint brushes. That‚s why there aren‚t t any, and we need to kill endangered
animals like sable‚s to make the dope brushes to bust the dope fluid strokes. Any ways there is this horrible Japanese food they feed you in
prison called, nato, it is sticky slimy beans that smells and tastes like shit. It is served with soy sauce and seaweed; I eat the seaweed,
and keep the soy sauce in my water cup to paint later. I use my shity human hair brush , the rolled up tip of my socks or toilet paper for a
brush, when I do soy sauce paintings. When I need a deeper richer brown I use, no you sick faggot ,not my feces, I made a promise the first
time I used urine for art in prison, that I would wait until I got sentenced 6 months or longer before I would use poo poo in my art. In
Japanese prisons, they fill up a thermos with tea three times a day, I never wash my cup , thermos, or kettle, because I‚m always drinking
out of it, but after a week or two the tea residue builds up, and I can use toilet paper to wipe the tea resin off my cup and kettle and
use it too make deep shades of brown, and this usually ends up with me painting tan nude women. Getting back to the piss. Since you have
really no choice for a brush for the piss except your ugly fat penis , unless you want to piss into your drinking water cup and dip from
there. Penis control is key here. You Can‚t can‚t can‚t use piss in your art during the day or night, there is not enough waste pigment and
it‚s watered down. Instead piss paintings must be executed first thing in the morning with your first morning piss which has had a chance
to ferment over the night and pick up some color, spray that deep rich amber all over the page, and leave them next to the window to dry. if
the stain dries and it looks like Jesus crying, bow down and pray, but it probably won‚t it‚ll look more like a Rorschach test, stare at it
for awhile, find what you can, and use that as the groundwork, for your pen works. In prison you can buy one black ballpoint pen, one red
ball point pen(I was so happy the day I got this pen, I drew so many girls with red pubic hair and freckles and I don‚t even like firebush
), one mechanical pencil, and one black felt tip pen. For the black ball point pen, you can have up to 5 pen refills, each refill (my own
estimate) will provide enough ink for 967 small writing, front and back, jail issued stationary, letters and journal entries, or 382
crosshatched dirty drawings of chicks, monsters, and everything in between. By my second month in prison I had collaged magazine and
newspaper clippings into Francis bacon monster faces, I used nuggets of rice as glue like cheap chinks use in the outside world. I had all
my blacks to grey covered in my pens and also every time you get anything in your cell ,you have to sign for it with a finger print, so I‚d
always push extra hard and get lots of black ink and then when the guard leaves I‚d do two thumb prints right next to each other like a pair
of tits or an ass, and I Œd draw a body around it, fingerbanger art, I‚m crafty , I had my browns covered with tea stains , and soy sauce,
and all cuts, scabs, and bloody noses would turn brown after they dried, but for red I had my red pen which I used mostly for pubic hair and
lasers from my crystalline aliens, for yellow, I had urine, boogers, earwax, and pus. I had snorted an avalanche of dandruff. black ,red,
brown, yellow. Surrounded by white and nothingness,‰ I need color! I NEED MORE COLOR IN MY LIFE!!‰ can you imagine my faggot ass screaming
this to myself in a little box like an interior decorating queer from hell? I wanted green! Blue ! orange!
Oh I know for ,green I could skid on my knees on the grass and then use the grass stains later, oh yeah, there‚s no fucking grass!! Only
astro turf, the two times they let you on the roof, to run around like a hamster or cut your nails in a concrete box, I was trying to cut
and shave the hard bump down on my middle finger from drawing and writing so much with the finger nail clippers, and also trying to clip
pieces of Astroturf, to smuggle back to my room, so I can rub shavings of it against a piece of paper to get any little bit of green
pigment. I was losing my mind and suffering weekly mental breakdowns. I‚d be reading a book like,‰ hunt for the red October „and get totally
lost in it, and forget where I was, and then lose my mind and start getting super claustrophobic, I‚m in a fucking Japanese prison, a
fucking Japanese prison!!!and start punching and climbing the walls. I had been wearing the same pant‚s I‚d been arrested in for 2 and a
half months, they were new blue jeans and they smelled of the streets, blood and piss, and one day I decided to wash them in the sink, it
was a messy glorious affair, and they were dripping everywhere, but the water that was dripping off wasn‚t just clear, it was tinted blue,
„BLUE I tell you
!! LADIES AND GENTLEMAN WE HAVE THE COLOR BLUE, the audience goes wild, BLUE I TEL YOU, WE HAVE BLUE, I SWEAR TO YOU HE‚S REALLY HERE
TONIGHT!!!AND WHEN I OPEN THIS DOOR YOUR GONNA SEE HIM HERE WITH YOUR VERY OWN EYES!‰ I tore all this paper out of my stationary and started
catching all these puddles and drips all over the room. On e of the first things I painted using BLUE, was a beautiful out of shape woman
swimming underwater with a dolphin. It is drawn at an angle as if I‚m sitting on the ocean floor looking up at them with the sunlight
shining down. Not too much later, I accepted Jesus Christ and we left that place.
JUNE 3, 2005
The ying and the yang
This was a great week for e-mails. I usually get some pretty good e-mails, but here’s 2 from opposite ends of the love hate spectrum.
you stupid fuck.
i can't wait to meet you soon so i can kick your buckethead in, you korean dog eater!
look at your biter-filled webpage and it's enough to want to administer a fucken asian shit-kicking like no other.
the amount of shit you copy and put out as your own is fucking hilarious.
you are nothing but another useless fucking Korean kimchee dog eater biting other artists non stop.
you're a bullshit fuckhead who will get a serious beat-down soon.
watch yourslef you fuckeing chinky jap fighter.
koreans are the most useless race.
go get your eyelids fixed fuckface.
ching chong bo guk kee motherfucker.
I just wanted to let you know that you are pretty much the first Asian man I have developed a crush on.† As you may know, Asian girls seldom like Asian boys cuz it is kinda like dating yourself.† Maybe it is unprofessional of me to say stuff like this...
Anyway, I came across your Tokyo Prison art and that sealed it for me.. I am officially wowed by you.
Are you planning to be in the ******* any time soon?†
Let me know if you have any travel plans anytime soon.
By the way - my name is actually ****** but that is top secret.† "****" is just my name for work.†
Have not really stayed on course with my walk with God. When you give up one evil or addiction in your life, you either fill that void with something good and positive or replace it with another evil. These days it’s gambling and it doesn’t fucking help that they have poker on every fucking channel.
The good and or bad is f your in a program like AA and you don’t come to a meeting , it’s out of sight out of mind you won’t hear from your sponsor or support group, but if you say you’re a Christian , they never give up, they call and email you all the time to see how your doing and all I have to say to those angels looking out for me is ……fuck……….thank you.
Picked up on a random bible verse today that I’m tripping out on. Like how holden caulfiield was going off on how rotten the 12 disciples were. I sort of got it today. Jesus calls james and john the sons of thunder, and I never knew why, now I know why
LUKE 9 : 51-56
†† 51As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem. 52And he sent messengers on ahead, who went into a Samaritan village to get things ready for him; 53but the people there did not welcome him, because he was heading for Jerusalem. 54When the disciples James and John saw this, they asked, "Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?" 55But Jesus turned and rebuked them, 56and they went to another village.
Fuuuuuuuuck, think about that shit for a second. One day your just a scumbag and then this guy jesus comes up to you and says he believes in you and makes you part of his crew and gives you the power to rain down fire from the skies. What would you do?
From barely being allowed to hang my shits up in hair salon’s and
Ice cream shops to the “S” to the “O “ to the ”L” to the muther fucking “O” show at the MOCA !!!! I know I’m not even 30 yet and people are gonna talk shit but just know I been busting ass for over ten years, I knew what I wanted and went for it. and this isn’t even what I wanted I wanted to draw and write comic books, and the best part is Will Dennis from DC comics also called me today to discuss drawing and writing for them. Comics ! and all up in the fucking MOCA!!! Fuck yeah. Thank you to everyone who’s been on this ride with me over the years. You rock harder than my dick right now. And it’s pretty fucking hard.
If you want anything in this life stick to it and don’t waiver and bust your ass for five years (with a 3 year varible) and you’ll either be where you want to be, and if your not, treat it like it was a hobby and move on with your life.
JUNE 6, 2005
Too much kimchee in the blood, that hot blood it must run in the family. Today my older brother who’s been living with me drove back to L.A. and got cut off by an escalade, got road rage and beat the shit out of the Russian driver while the wife screamed for him to stop. He felt bad afterwords and wished he didn’t do that. I don’t have a shower at my house so I shower at 24 hour fitness ,usually at 2 am when there’s nobody. But since I’m jetlagged I started going regular hours and discovered the locker room is a huge breeding ground for homosexuals. They try to take pictures with camera phones and wait to take showers next to you. Today I got fed up with this one creepy creepy looking fucker that kept staring, so I covered up went up to him and told him if he looks in my direction one more time I’m gonna beat his faggot ass. He looked so scared and ran off. I felt really bad after words, and wished I had approached the whole situation in a nicer way.
All the girls in the south of france look like Wynona ryder when she used to look cute circa heathers/ roxy Carmichael.
From barely being allowed to hang my shits up in hair salon’s and
Ice cream shops …I know I’m not even 30 yet and people are gonna talk shit, but I got my show at the MOCA (ok moca santa rosa, but fuck it, that’s still something) this month and later next year at the PASADENA MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART. It is pretty exciting,
It’s definitely cool , all these museums, galleries, world tours, and college lectures, but all I ever wanted to do my whole life was draw comics, I never gave a fuck about museums (who even goes to museums), so I was pretty excited when DC comics first asked me to write stuff for them about 5 years ago now. But it was only to write , not draw, so it was cool , but not the coolest ever. Anyways that fell through because my editor left to marvel, and I’m banned from marvel comics, but DC has had it’s hand out to me from the beginning, and when it gets right down to it, although I could fucking kill it if I ever got a crack at spiderman, hulk, or the x-men, I’d rather be at batman’s house. I say this every year but this might be the year that I return to comics. Stay tuned. (I have a six page comic I did for SCION magazine out at the end of this month, hey 6 pages is a start) I also get email’s every week from students, and struggling artists, asking how I got so successful so fast. First off , make no mistake, a decade of busting my ass, eating and breathing art everyday for my whole life is not fast. And the answers pretty simple. Bust your ass, follow your hero’s, and DO IT YOURSELF.
Bust your Ass.- I saw this awesome movie this week called HUSTLE and FLOW. Go see it(preferably in a black neighborhood, I saw it in a white neighborhood and I was the only one dancing in my chair) anyways the movies about a pimp trying to squeeze a dollar out of a dime and in the meantime he doesn’t have two pennies to rub together. He ‘s trying to raise himself out of his current situation and become a rapper. This Character is not me, Also in the movie there is a skinny white trash whore that sucks and fucks everything to make it out. This Character IS me. And that’s it. how bad do you want it? ok I never sucked anyone off ,but in life , in any field ,the people that are doing something and tremendous and worthwhile all have the same things in common. They have no boyfriends and girlfriends , and if they do , they’re totally dysfunctional relationships, they're pale , because they're always inside working, you never see them, they hardly go out,they have no social life , because they’re ALWAYS working, they don’t punch a clock , they live and breath their job. I’m 29 and I see these young fresh faced kids coming out of art school, and I think should I be scared of shorty? All trying to get up in the gallery and shit? Why? A lot of their hearts and minds are in the wrong place . hey princess , force your self even if you don’t FEEL like it. While you sleep, while you drink and party, I’m a machine I never stop. Fair weather painters, Sunday painters. Scenster painters need not apply.
Follow your heroes. AND I don’t mean, copy them and bite their style. Maybe a little at first but then get over it. but I mean if your favorite artist illustrates for this magazine, or shows at this gallery , or won this award , go for the same goals. When I was 22 and had just dropped out of artschool, I went to san diego comic con for the first time and was blown away. There I saw one of my favorite comic book artists Kent Williams, he did this book called HAVOK and WOLVERINE with Jon J Muth that brought comics to a whole new level for me, I saw all the originals and kent signing books and shit and thought that was pretty cool. 2 days later back in L.A. I see him again ,in a totally different setting at the Merry Karnowsky gallery showing all his fine art oil paintings which were unbelievable. and up to this point I’d been a little hazy about how to go about making a living as an artist, but after seeing Kent’s world, that’s what I wanted for myself. (cut to 9 years later , I’m banned from marvel comics, so i won't be drawing wolverine, and Merry’s a cool lady, but I’m sort of banned from her gallery too, it’s ok though I do alright). Also Barry Mcgee one of my favorites has taken it to another level, in terms of graffiti, so I wanted to know how he does it. So I applied for every grant and fellowship that Barry had gotten. In the end I got rejected for all of them, but I did get the XERIC grant . which jump started my career,when i was 22 it’s a grant started by one half of the creative force of teenage mutant ninja turtles. (xericfoundation.com) check it out, if you draw comics give it shot, if it all goes to shit, get a job, or hustle and flow. WHOOP THAT BITCH!
Do it yourself. D.I.Y.And especially now. With what’s out there. I can’t believe there was a time when I’d have my black book, and I’d go through all my art , and have to pick which one’s to make color copies of, and then pick which magazine or editor to send it to, so every promo pack costed 5 to ten dollars. But these days the struggle has been eased, put your shit online and thousands can view it . no prob. With art, music, movies, all this shit is so cheap and accessible , there’s really no excuse anymore. If all you get is rejection letters and doors slammed in your face. Fuck them. Fuck the whole world. Do it yourself. Start your own comic, your own magazine, your own gallery. But put your heart into it and make sure it’s good. Just because you CAN do something , doesn’t mean you should, there are mountains and himilaya’s of rotting festering donkey shit out there in every medium. Don’t add to it. only do good. and if you hate computers and technology fuck all that and grab 2 cans of krylon ultra flat black go outside and put your art up on the walls. until you do that, you will never, get it.
The drummer for U.S. bombs told me this (and I think the drummer from rolling stones told him) and it might not apply to artist’s since a lot of artist’s blossom after their 30’s . but he said,”if you don’t make it , by the time your 30, just treat it like a hobby and get a real job.
OK show time. If you been inquiring about buying art from me, here’s your chance
This Saturday: SOFA KING
David Choe at GR2, August 20 - September 14
Reception: Saturday, August 20, 6:30 pm - 10:00 pm
2062 Sawtelle Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90025
Giant Robot is proud to present Sofa King, an art show featuring David Choe, at GR2. Raised on comic books, affected by street art, and inspired by crime, women, and spirituality, Choe has developed an restless style that is effortless yet meticulous and focused yet dirty.
Since he contributed his first illustration to Giant Robot magazine in 1997, Choe has been featured in solo shows at GR2 as well as in New York, Paris, and Tokyo. In fact, much of his current work reflects time spent in jail during his last trip to Japan. At his upcoming show at GR2, the San Jose-based artist will be sharing his latest experiments with sculpture in addition to his paintings.
A reception for the artist will be held from 6:30 - 10:00 on Saturday evening, August 20
Paintings for sale here- http://www.gr2.net/artshows/index.html
Ok if your in the bay area
EMPTY JOYS AND FLEETING FANTASIES part 2
Site- specific mural and installation
Opening reception FRIDAY AUGUST 26,2005
7 to 9 p.m.
THE MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART
Luther Burbank center for the arts
50 Mark West springs road
santa rosa ,CA 95403
ok if you’ve stayed with me this far. Here’s one possible outcome to all your hard work.
THE BIG BREAK!!!
You been barely scraping by for years, and then one day you get your big break. And by big break in the art world ,I mean anywhere from 5 to 20,000 dollars.
When that day comes I’ll tell you how I spent my money. Because sometimes you get a big break, and then you never get another one again, or
Not for along time.
First off celebrate take your parents who supported your ass, or your significant other that stood by through all your artsy bullshit, and get em a nice
Surf and turf dinner, especially if they’re vegetarian. If you don’t have anyone special , shave that thing off your fucking face and go get a real haircut at the barber shop , not from your roommate or sister, feel and look like a real human again. Do not get a tattoo.
Do not , do not , do not spend it all on a nice pimp my ride car or even a shitty old American car
Spend 10- 20% on a cheap used Toyota with good gas efficiency(mini vans are the greatest cars ever, don't spend more than 2 g's)
Or if you already have a car. Leave. Go someplace take a vacation somewhere longer then two weeks, just go
Get out of my face.(and when you get to wherever it is your going, don’t watch t.v. in your hotel room, go outside)
I gave 10 % to GOD ( fuck you , I know what your thinking I used to think the same thing, it all comes back ten fold)
Another 10- 20% set aside for rent and living for the next three months( two if you want to live dangerously)
The bulk of it 50- 70% should not be spent on toys you want. If your in debt or have a loan out, pay it off. If your all good with the sharks then Put all this money into funding your own self published book, T-shirt company
Or movie, or whatever. So you have something that you can sell and have money whenever you check you po box. I have two sold out
self- puplished Books , and have been living off sales my last book for the last three years.
At this point you should have nothing left to play with , but if you were able to stretch your dollars out.
It’s all coke whores , the horse track and gravy from here or whatever your into. I got a rolan-v drum kit. Nothing gets me going like 808 . I go crazy when I hear a cymbal….